Thursday, April 18, 2013

DoaBH Review Edition: Double Dragon II: Wander of the Dragons (XBLA)


Double Dragon II: Wander of the Dragons...how can I review this without resorting to the easy way of just slapping a bunch of GIFs to explain how I feel which I know could do the job really well instead of using my own words to describe it. Luckily for you that isn't how we do things here so you can read everything I have to say and for what the final product presents it isn't a lot.

This game is the remake it claims it is at least story wise anyway. Even Marian's actual role in this game which didn't and doesn't make a lot of sense until I actually read some information about it. Is this canon? That I don't know. However, I choose the DD2 (NES/PC/TG-16) canon on the subject for a reason I won't get into though. I am however delaying the inevitable on the subject on what this game actually is and I really don't want to because of the respect I have for this franchise. I can't really say that those behind this game share my sentiment in any way and if they do it doesn't show at all in the final product. Speaking of that...


I know most people that are familiar with this game at all will remember the above trailer. It came out just about 2 years ago just to put some timeframe to what you've just watched.


And this is the Launch Trailer that dropped when the game was finally available to everyone 2 weeks ago. You can see the small bits of polish from this version to the one above.

To be honest, none of the above matters because you're looking at it. Playing this is a whole different "experience." The game is very playable but the question remains why would you? What I really drew from it was for everything I thought the game made an attempt to do right is undone by all the wrong done. Which leave me with questions such as...

"Why isn't the game balanced for a single player experience?"

"Why does this game deal in 8-Directional combat?"

"Why is there a stamina bar?"

"What the hell is wrong with the combo system?"

"Why have an extension of defense like Perfect Guard when it's completely useless outside of 1v1 combat?"

These are just some of the issues that are on the tip of the iceberg that hit this Titanic of a game!

I really want to know who OK'ed this and why is it a representative of the lineage of Double Dragon? Not like the series hasn't had missteps in the past. Double Dragon V: The Shadow Falls I'm citing you as an example here. You sucked and you know that so that is your place in history. Respect that as your contribution to gaming.

Now I don't want to say it was all bad except for the VA which was "something." However, the cutscenes were fine and the music being a remix or otherwise was very well done. All I can hope for there will be a kind soul to rip the music from the game because I don't see a OST coming now or ever.

Just so you know there isn't any online component similar to Neon. There's also a VS Mode and Survival Mode too and they function just as "well" as the rest of the game does so have fun with that.

I've tried as hard as I can to use my nice words and judge the product on the merits given. The problem is there is no merit to be had here. This game at best is an embarrassment to the name Double Dragon and at worst I won't sully my words and dare even saying them. I will admit the game had moments where I had some fun but it is all taken away when you look at the final product and know it's just a bad game. If you had 2 years to make something better and don't take advantage of it then as someone who creates you have done not only done a disservice to yourself but those who decide to partake in your product as well.

This game is playable and that's about all it is. I won't even tell you not to play it. If you've decided that after everything said here and elsewhere to give it a go then please download the demo and play through it first before plopping down $10 on this and even after that when you've decided that you just might want to pay money for this then wait for a sale so you don't feel like you've been taken advantage of. Or just skip it entirely. Your choice.

Double Dragon II: Wander of the Dragons...as much as I want there to be a good game inside, the honest truth is there isn't one. Take that as my rating on it all.

Shouts to my big brother Therrty Bytchez AKA EvilFreakzilla for buying the game and letting me play it. He's a Double Dragon head and this has worked out to my advantage more than once so for that family I SALUTE YOU!!!

Thanks again and thank you for reading.

Until next we meet.

-Triple Da G.O.D

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